What is Organic Success?

The Messy, Awkward Path

Do you have a goal or dream? A good idea? Something you wish was different about your life? How about a plan for making it happen?

In my steady diet of personal growth material in my own journey toward achieving my goals and dreams, I’ve often come across the phrase, “Success leaves clues.” The concept is that if you want a specific result, you should study others who have achieved this result and, in a sense, “do what they did.” This article is about how not to misinterpret this message, and be led astray to the world of artificial achievement.

I want to present a different bold claim: unless you do it your own way, it won’t work.

So many people are looking for a foolproof route, guide, or manual to getting what they want in life. But, I firmly believe that the only proof of success is found in being willing to be a fool! Can I get an “Amen” for already meeting my quota of corny lines? 😁 The thing I’ve found to be true is that being fearful of presenting - or unwilling to present - myself in a flawed, uncontrolled way is what has held me back most in life.

“The only foolproof way to success is being willing to be a fool!”

Fear of the Unknown

So you could argue that some risk is calculated and you can pretty much figure out in advance what the two or three possible outcomes are. But what about trying something new or going out on a limb where you can’t even know all of the possible outcomes? Or even worse, failure is a 97% guarantee? This, my friends, is my new favorite beautiful, ugly thing. 🙌🏼

But let me get back to the title of this article and talk about organic success. Organic success, to me, is when you take an authentic step toward what you want. By yourself. And then you take another. And another. And after a few steps, even when things get confusing, or messy, or ugly, and you get blisters, you keep walking.

You can read, study, and ponder your life away, and let me tell you, I’ve spent years doing just that. I never felt “prepared” enough to actually take that first step into the unknown of my dreams. I told myself that I am a responsible adult who appreciates quality, and don’t ever want to come off as unqualified or unpolished. And you better believe I studied and interviewed other people, looking for some guaranteed, “foolproof” steps to success.

I was trying to run a marathon, but looking for some comfortable shortcut where I could skip the blisters. I haven’t yet run an actual marathon myself, but I guarantee those of you who have are laughing right now. Because you know that’s just not an option.

Eventually, after I ran out of excuses, it became evident to me that there was no way around that awkward phase of fumbling through something new. So, are you willing to let go of the perception of perfection? That’s the first question you’re going to have to answer before embarking into the unknown.

Because I’m a walking manual of awkward fumbling, allow me to elaborate.

Ugly Cry

A couple of years ago now, I decided I needed to make a major pivot in my life, especially in my job. Thanks to my husband, I was getting all jacked up on Grant Cardone audio books (ask me about this guy), and was trying to “10X” my life. I wanted to take my life to the next level. I wanted to start surrounding myself with A players. I had one particular woman in mind. She is someone I had admired from afar for years and an absolute boss in the world of psychology and self-development. Eons beyond where I was. I thought, “What if I could be in her presence? What if I could learn from her?” Over a week’s time, I actually drafted up a letter to her. In it I included all the ways she had inspired me, what I was working toward in my own life, and a craaazy request, asking her to be my mentor, and basically take me on as a pro bono apprentice. I re-wrote the letter over & over. I paced around my desk before talking myself out of sending it at least ten times. Finally, on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017 (I still have the email 🤓), I clicked “Send.”

What emotions would you guess ensued after I sent that email? Elation? Joy? Pride? Nope. I felt horror. Picture a dramatic slow-motion scene of someone diving for their keyboard to try to magically cancel an email from being sent. I had never put myself out there like that. I felt sheer panic. I felt like I had “no business” asking that of someone so “out of my league.” I felt embarrassed and that I’d most likely just made a complete fool of myself. What’s worse, this woman knew who I was and therefore knew my “entry level” status in her career field. Screw Grant Cardone. I can still remember that evening, literally bending over crying in the shower, thinking, “How could I have done that?!?” Let me tell you, those tears were organic as bleep. 😅 

I got an email back that very same night.

“Hello Alison,

Thank you for such kind words.  I would be honored to mentor you and we should get together and talk about roles and expectations. I am open next Wednesday the 22nd at noon.  Any chance this time works for you?”

🙌🏼🎆✨ What?!? ✨🎆🙌🏼

My life forever changed. I basically dropped to my knees and felt those feelings of elation, joy and pride before another round of panic set in surrounding the fact that I’d actually have to show up now and pretend I knew what I was doing! 😉 Since that day two years ago, I’ve flown so far beyond where I ever thought I would. I’ve written dozens more emails and have secured meeting after relationship with “high end players.” I have little fear surrounding this now. If I told you the ridiculous people whose inboxes my emails have entered (billionaires, celebrities, etc.), you would laugh out loud. And many, many of these people have never responded, FYI, in case you think I just send emails and get amazing responses every time. Definitely not! But what if I had never ventured out that first time? It changed the trajectory of my path. That was my first step. The step that started my path of blisters and bliss.

The irony is not lost on me that my first step was somewhat of me hoping someone else would give me a piece of her shortcut map, or sprinkle some of her success fairy dust on me,  but I found out in a hurry that not only was that not what this was, but it would never be an effective tactic for me! What it did do was help me build my courage, keep dreaming bigger, and provide me with support as I started trotting down the messy, ugly path.

You Can’t Always Trust Your Feelings

Sometimes the emotions and thoughts that come along when you venture out a little are counterintuitive! The level of discomfort that I usually feel when I branch out like that usually makes me think “Something is wrong. ABORT.” I’ve always been a proponent of “following your instincts.” I still am. But, I’ve had to learn the difference between my gut instinct and my “fight or flight” fear-based feelings. The feeling that something is “not right” is somewhat similar to the feeling that “this is going to be uncomfortable.”

But let me tell you something I never read in any book about the other side of going down the messy path. It’s not all blisters! In fact, I observed and experienced the most CRAZY phenomenon. Once I started taking steps down this path of uncertainty to “foolville,” I started getting new ideas that came out of nowhere. These ideas DID NOT EXIST in my mind until I went down this path! And they’re not just thoughts I had already thought but felt were impossible to accomplish. I could have gone my entire life and never have even been blessed with some of the thoughts that have since graced mind. I have stood alone in my kitchen and laughed out loud more than once at this experience. The best way I can describe it, in my own version, is that God wanted to see if I was serious enough to take the steps I was called to take, before revealing the next steps to me. Or, similarly, it was like I had to beat certain levels in order to find a warp zone to some crazy board I never knew existed! Very similar analogies. 😉

So Ignore Others’ Advice?

So let me clarify a little further what I mean by carving your own path in a world that wants to sell you “shortcuts.”

You can’t discount that success does in fact leave clues. Obviously I don’t want you to try to reinvent the wheel and ignore the fact that someone else already broke through certain barriers and, for example, invented the Internet for all of us to enjoy. 😂 My message is about not accidentally (or intentionally) trying to become someone else!

Sometimes I have people ask me now how to basically get to step 14 of my journey right away. And I always hesitate. Sure, I can give them certain resources and tools, but much of it came from my own twisted path. I would hate for someone to miss out on their own organic journey to success! Sometimes I think, "Sure, I can do that with ease now, but if you even knew the taxes I paid in shower sob fests to get here…”

But I’m a life coach. Isn’t giving advice my livelihood? For those of you who have coached with me, you know that’s not at all what coaching is. Coaching is where I support and hold a sacred space for you and your dreams. I absolutely have incredibly helpful tools for all to use on any path. But we are trying to access and bring out your flourish factor. Not mine.

I feel it is an absolute gift that we can all share our journeys and have access to so many wise people, and all of the knowledge, tips and tricks they have to offer! Do not ignore this! There are so many experts and influencers who have valuable tools. And they have helped me many times, and can help you too! But they’re tools. You hold the actual map to your own journey. You still have to take those first organic steps, and many more.

The short cut is this: there is no shortcut. The shortcut is the long, messy, ugly way. If you try to get too far by just following someone else’s map, you’ll accidentally find yourself all the way at the airport to China with no passport. I want you to get your own blisters. I want you to have your own stamps on your own social passport. You can’t truly own the success or come into your own if you’re just watching somebody else walk the walk. Your experience will be different that mine, or hers, or his!

There is no Alison for Dummies until I write it. And if I do, you should not buy a copy, because it will do you no good, other than provide grand entertainment. So please buy it.

Blistered & Bruised

Do you know what the fake fertilizer called Perfection does? It halts progress. See Exhibit A of me putting out a blog and then going months without putting out content because I no longer had time to perfect it. For real. I had to come to the realization that I wasn’t going to find more time, so I either had to call it quits, or be wiling to just show up “as is.” Writing is such a love of mine, that quitting would be a shame.

Those of you following me on social media have maybe seen my latest “experiment” that includes showing up in the most unpolished way ever (overcorrecting is my thing). 30 days of videos of myself in a vulnerable, terrible way, with zero experience with anything video-related. Organic. As bleep. It hurts. It’s uuuuuncomfortable. But I trust my voice will find its way the way it is meant to! And I could (and have) read tutorials, tips, etc, but nothing can help or show my internal compass any shortcut once I hit that “record” button.

Here’s one last (I promise) metaphor for you: they say that you have to throw a bunch of spaghetti on the wall and see what sticks, representing the “trial & error” method of trying out new ideas and seeing what works. And that’s exactly what I’m doing in my business and life. And pro tip: you’ll never see what sticks if you’re too good to look like an idiot throwing noodles at a wall! 🙌🏼

“You’ll never see what sticks if you’re too good to look like an idiot throwing noodles at a wall!”

Your Turn

So when’s the last time you ugly cried in the shower due to slingshotting yourself way beyond your comfort zone? Have you done anything lately that has brought you to that level of excitement wrapped in utter discomfort? IF you haven’t, I would challenge you to consider whether or not you’re holding yourself back within your safety net. I’m not saying you need to feel this level of (false) danger. The truth is, I would go through those emotions again, but most likely, I won’t have to!!! Not only have I grown and learned how to get rid of a lot of the limiting beliefs that were messing with me (one of my coaching superpowers), but once you do something extremely scary, it’s not as scary the next time! Now I seek out this level of goal, because I know it’s the next step on my internal GPS.

As always, I’m here if you’re feeling lost, apprehensive, or unsure about what your organic success looks like. I’m cooking your noodles now and will be here to cheer you on when you’re ready to throw!